A while ago, I promised some big(gish) news. Well, here it is: The Life of an English Major is getting rebooted. I’m switching to a new username and moving to a new patch of land in WordPress country. After four years (has it really been…?) I find myself a completely different person than the whiny, mucus-filled, befuddled lunatic who booted this blog in the first place. Don’t worry, I’m still a whiny, mucus-filled, befuddled lunatic, and I plan to do a lot of things the way I’ve been doing them since the blog began. Here are a few of the Life of and English Major set-pieces that won’t be going anywhere:

  • Visual Numbers: It’s true, I’m an English major now, but I do still love Math. A year ago, Math and I had a messy divorce after a long and increasingly loveless marriage. Now that I’m married to English and my ex and I have reconciled, I’ve decided to stay married to English and just have a steamy affair with Math behind English’s back. And what all that torturous mess means is: I’m going to keep up Visual Numbers, my (sort of) long-running series of posts visualizing the beautiful patterns that lurk in numbers, along with whatever interesting mathematical ramblings I manage to concoct.
  • Random bits and pieces: One reader found my blog by Googling “insect crawling up the rectum.” And I’m always seeing amusing targeted ads here and there. May it ever be so.
  • Stuff for writers: I love to write. I also love to write about writing (mainly because it’s a lot easier to write about it than to actually do it). I’m sure now that I’m actually almost kinda semi-serious about it, I’ll have more to say.
  • Reviews of stuff: I do love to give my cynical and often simpleminded opinion about things, and I shall continue to do so. Less simplemindedly now, I would hope.
  • Netlogo simulations: I do still love to program in NetLogo, and if I should happen to write a decently amusing simulation, I’ll let you know about it.
  • Random ideas like this one.
  • Random speculations and musings.
  • Unwise experiments with food and dangerous chemicals.

Hopefully, I’ll also come up with a few new things to do. In addition, there’s going to be a lot less random bitching and whining, half-baked ideas, and a hell of a lot more spelling and grammar checking (when I saw that I’d written “it’s” where I should have written “its,” I died a little). And there’s not going to be any politics. None. None at all. I have reached an advanced stage of serenity an disillusionment when it comes to politics. I’m going to take care of my little patch of the world, and that’s all I can hope to do. Let the politicians argue about the placesettings on the Titanic.

The re-vamped Life of an English Major should be up and running soon. See you there!

…Wait, What?

So, in case you didn’t know, WordPress (the lovely site that hosts this blog) has a stats dashboard that lets you know how many people viewed your blog, and how they got there. There’s one panel that shows what search engine terms people used that led to your blog. Today, I was greeted with this:

InsectI don’t know what should bother me more: that someone actually searched for this, or that this search led to my blog…

Can it be…?

Yes it can. I am now officially an English major. Judging by the pretty much complete lack of mathematics on the site, I’m thinking this is a bit like coming out of the closet: the only one who’s surprised is the person who’s actually coming out. Not that I know anything about that. I’m a manly man. Couldn’t you tell?

Anyway, I don’t expect many changes other than the title. I still plan to ramble on about NetLogo models, spout random musings, and (possibly) screw around with a lot more dry ice. Glory awaits!

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Stranger Than Truth

Not long ago, I decided to merge my fiction blog with my regular blog. Well now, in the interest of preventing confusion, I’ve un-merged them and moved all of my stories to a new blog called “Stranger Than Truth”. I hope to update it regularly (and get back to updating this blog regularly, too). For now, though, you can find a few hitherto-unpublished stories there. Enjoy!

Absence Yet Again: This Time, I Have an Excuse

Once again, I’ve been failing to post much of anything. Yesterday, it finally struck me that my readers might want to know why. The long and the short of it (actually, just the short of it; I’m too tired to write anything longwinded) is that I got tired of being a little pale remora on the underbelly of the global economy and get a job. Now, you might think that a person like me would end up in a cushy air-conditioned office job reading Dilbert six hours a day and secretly plotting to poison my boss. But no, I’m doing real work. That is to say, making fertilizer. That is to say, shoveling ten different kinds of shit for forty hours a week. It’s fairly exhausting work, and leaves me little time to do anything interesting during the day. I promise I’ll try to post something on the weekends, but I make no guarantees.

Just thought you should know.

25,000 Hits!

By now, it’s kind of a tradition that, every time my hit counter passes some random numerical milestone, I present you, dear viewers, with a random gift in appreciation of your visit. And since my counter just passed 25,000 (wow…I know that’s a really tiny number, comparatively speaking , but it’s huge compared to what the site used to get), I thought I’d spread some holiday cheer. I present to you: 25,000 garishly-colored circles:

Oooh! Ahhh! Ugh!

Oooh! Ahhh! Ugh!

To all the people who have gone to the trouble to give my blog a look, thank you. Have a circle. There’s enough for everyone.

5,000 Hits

Back in 2006, when I first started this blog, I’d never expected to reach 5,000 hits. Like many of the other websites I’ve started or attempted to start, I’d expected to lose interest, or to be disheartened by the lack of traffic and give up. That didn’t happen, however, and I now find myself at something of a sentimental little milestone.

Wow. 5,000 hits. That’s ten hits a day. For some websites, that would be ridiculously small. But, as usual, I’m going to take my achievements where I can get them.

To mark the occasion, I present to you a small gift: 128 ampersands (sorry, that was the best I could come up with. Sleep deprivation always dampens my ability to choose gifts)




Writings Page — Up and Running!

As promised, I’m slowly beginning to merge this site with my two other blogs. Pursuant to that, I’m now posting some of my short stories on the newly-minted Writings page. I plan to update it semi-regularly — that is, on those rare occasions when I can actually get around to writing semi-regularly — so check it periodically. When I’ve finished my revisions on For Ardella (the novella I wrote for NaNoWriMo 2007), I’ll probably post that, too.

A warning: if there isn’t now, there will probably at some point in the future be stuff posted to the Writings page that is not suitable for very young readers (especially if I actually get around to posting For Ardella). There won’t be anything terribly pornographic or overwhelmingly vile and horrible, but I certainly wouldn’t recommend all of my stories for people younger than fifteen or so. But, if you think that you’re mature enough to handle mature themes like sex and death and all that good stuff, then go for it. You have been warned.