“Yo Dawg…”

I’m sorry to say that I’ve fallen victim to an internet meme. In case you didn’t know, there’s a Pimp My Ride meme floating around. Also, in case you didn’t know, a few months ago, scientists announced the discovery of a weird little virus called Sputnik which (apparently) infects another virus (the Mimivirus). This morning, as I lay in my irrational post-sleep stupor, the meme and the Mimivirus stumbled into each other, and this was the result:

Sorry…I couldn’t help myself. I don’t know what came over me. I promise it will never (never) happen again.

Culinary Misadventures 2

People who know me will tell you that, while I don’t come close to the Fat Albert extreme, I’m not exactly petite. The main reason behind that is that I love my sweets. Anyway, my health took a serious hit this week when I bought a couple of bags of chocolate chips and realized that I could make my own chocolates.

Thus, this week’s culinary misadventure isn’t a misadventure in the same way as making an octopus-and-pickle sandwich; it’s really more of a “gee-I-don’t-know-if-this-is-a-good-idea” sort of thing. I promise to resume eating weird and potentially gross things next time.

Anyway, this week’s misadventure: a chocolate-covered banana. It’s a misadventure mainly because I seriously underestimated just how much chocolate it would take to cover a whole banana. I only thank my lucky stars that I didn’t have, say, a Twinkie, or a container of peanuts, or any amount of nougat or caramel in the house… After discovering that I could indeed melt chocolate in the microwave (and after discovering that, last night, there is indeed a limit to how long you can leave it in there before it starts gushing smoke and emitting a horrible smell), I peeled a nice ripe banana, slathered it with melted chocolate (I’m sure Freud would have a field day with that one), and stuck it in the freezer. This was the result:

The little broken bits laying there are because some of the chocolate pooled under the banana while it was hardening (shut up, Sigmund), and I broke it off because I thought that the minor decrease in the amount of chocolate might somehow push my meal from “terrible idea” to “questionable idea.”

Result: Delicious, although I can feel the chocolate hitting my stomach like a ton of chocolate-covered bricks. Delicious, and also incredibly bad for you. (How cruel that those two always seem to go together) Easy to make, too.

Judgment: 9/10.

S.E.A. Episode 2

S.E.A. Episode 1

Cartoon Me

Greg Williams, a cartoonist for the newspaper The Tampa Bay Observer, is certainly moving with the times. He draws a comic called Blogjam for the Observer based on blog posts from various sources. He took an interest in my long-ago post about the helium shortage, and turned it into a comic. The result? A delightfully-illustrated comic of the post, including a cartoon version of me!

Helium Shortage

You can see the comic here. And be sure to check out some of Williams’s other comics here. And I’m not just suggesting that because he drew me as flatteringly less scruffy than I actually look in real life, but because it’s actually an interesting and well-executed series he’s got going there.

A Joke

In the tradition of my generation, I present to you a dark, sarcastic, and pessimistic joke:

Four politicians were walking around a city. They pass a couple of heroin addicts shooting up in an alleyway.

The first politician points and says “That’s what’s wrong with America.”

They walk along a little further, and they see a rich guy in a Hummer toss a handful of litter out the window.

The second politician points and says “That’s what’s wrong with America.”

They keep walking, and they pass by a broken-down tenement. They look in the windows and see that it’s only the minority citizens who are living in such squalid conditions.

The third politician points and says “That’s what’s wrong with America.”

As they come out of the inner city, they see a homeless Vietnam veteran begging for change outside a Starbucks.

The fourth politician points and says “That’s what’s wrong with America.”

Just then, a little boy comes around the corner, sees the four politicians walking around instead of doing their jobs.

He points and says “That’s whats wrong with America.”